Maternity

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” ~ Dave Barry
IMG 7724  “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” ~ Johnny Depp  IMG 7730  “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” ~ Lemony Snicket, Horseradish  pregnancy magazine  “It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.” ~ Dave Barry  sarah pregnancy magazine  “I love how babies look like old people. I saw a baby the other day that looked exactly like my grandpa, only taller.” ~ Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale 
IMG 7761  “Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!” ~ Bill Watterson  IMG 7706  “If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.” ~ Dave Barry  IMG 7644  “I’m not opposed to new people, I just don’t like their packaging (diapers).” ~ Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale  IMG 7667  “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” ~ Don Herold